Dear Ford,

We get it. You hear us say that we want a real retro Mustang, and you think "I will give you a real retro Mustang." And that's what you gave us in 2005, watered down in 2014 and have fully mashed into the potatoes with the new 2024 edition.

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Frankly, as a Mustang enthusiast I'm sick of hearing about how your new version is "retro" or "modernized" or whatever other BS marketing terms you use to justify making something that looks like a boat in convertible form, and barely any different than the old one.

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The new Mustang is not a fully retro model—it's just a softer version of the previous model, itself dangerously close to being over-polished into obscurity. The new one still looks overly long and chunky as a convertible, and the interior is a boring mashup of German-esque screens, garbage American plastics and little to no style. Why can't they go full retro like the Challenger? It's still outselling everybody and that platform is nearly a decade and a half old!

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We want the kind of car our dads drove when they were teenagers—a real muscle car. Not some Hertz parking lot special that could be mistaken for an old Genesis coupe from fifty feet. At least base Challengers in a rental fleet still look like an angry, old-school Mopar product - and is easy to forgive for being an actually old-school Mopar product.

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Ford is pushing the Fox body nostalgia narrative hard. And admittedly the Fox style digital gauges are fun. But the rest of the interior is NOT where you follow the Fox, guys. Nothing in that interior screamed muscle.

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The Mustang has always been more than just an American sports car; it's also been an icon for American culture. It was built for people who want to drive fast, but also want something that looks good doing it. The new model does neither well: it has decent power and readily familiar looks, but the styling is uninspired at best. And that's hard to do when you're drawing off of your own heritage, which has become a well-worn trope at this point.

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I know there are lots of people out there who love Mustangs (myself very much included) but personally, I'm going to stick with my '98 GT until something better comes along, or at least the Dark Horse comes down in price.

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The new Mustang is just another example of American car makers relying on retro cues and modest improvements. We used to be leaders in innovation, but now we're just churning out slightly better cars with slightly nicer plastic interiors and German inspired design cues in an attempt to be more luxurious. This isn't what the original Mustang was about.

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You're making a mistake by trying to appeal to everyone with this "new" design. Either marry an overtly retro design to a hyper-modern platform (like the new Charger SRT Daytona concept - hot damn), or go full modern design and reinvent the wheel (like the C8).

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The fact that Ford keeps trying to get away with this half-baked approach to Mustang improvements is at odds with their sales trends. In a rapidly declining segment, the only things that work are revolution or full retro. Just ask the Camaro how the soft bunt approach is working.

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I'm going to make a bold prediction: the new Ford Mustang is going to be a flop.